Have you ever told yourself after missing a shot: “I suck.” Does that sound familiar to you?
Did you know that your mind and body are connected and whatever you say to yourself affects your body and your performance?
Self-talk, thoughts in your head, includes all the purposeful and random thoughts that run through your mind. It includes all the things said both silently and out loud. Your self-talk can be both positive (for example, “I can do it”) and negative (for example, “I suck” or “I stink so just give it up”).
Negative self-talk decreases your performance in many different ways, both psychologically and physically. If you have negative thoughts such as “I suck” or “I’m going to lose”, they will cause negative feelings such as anxiety and worry. Negative thoughts can also impact physical responses in your body, such as increased heart rate, shortness of breath, and muscle tension when you play. All these states inhibit your peak performance and keep you in a negative loop.
The opposite happens when you have positive self-talk. You feel joyful, confident and full of a sense of fun. These states have a positive effect on your body and help assist you in reaching your peak performance and having a positive mental attitude.
Like physical skills, controlling your self-talk is also a skill and you can learn to control it.
Here are five powerful steps on how to change your negative thoughts with positive ones. I’m using a very common negative example (“My backhand loop sucks”) to illustrate these five steps.
STEP 1: Become Aware of Your Negative Thoughts. They often happen automatically, and you are not aware of them. You only can control what you are aware of. First, you have to realize it. Then you can learn to change it.
STEP 2: State the negative self-talk as a feeling when you catch yourself doing it: “I feel my backhand loop sucks.” Phrasing as a feeling is a much accurate statement. You feel that your backhand loop is not good at the moment, but it can change in a few days with practice. “I feel that my backhand loop sucks”.
STEP 3: Use “But” in a positive way.
Usually, we say positive things first and then evaluate it with the “But” word. Whenever somebody says something positive and continues with the “But” in the end we know that something negative is coming. Your forehand looks great but… However, you can use “But” in the opposite way. Using “But” statements can help you to transform your negative thoughts. “I feel my backhand loop sucks BUT”.
STEP 4: Use “But“ and an action statement after your negative statement and turn around and transform your negative self-talk by saying a positive sentence. Use something positive after “But”. For example: “I feel like my backhand loop sucks BUT I believe it’s going to be better. It can be a technical element (move forward with my body) or a personal attribute (I will never give up). For example, “I feel like my backhand loop sucks BUT I will never give up” or “I feel like my backhand loop sucks BUT I will move forward”.
STEP 5: Change your negative statement to positive ones without being negative at all. For example, replace “my loop sucks” to say “It’s OK, I can do this. Focus on the next one” “Focus on the contact and move forward”. The goal is to eliminate your negative comments and change them with positive ones. Write down all your negative thoughts on a piece of paper and positively reframe all of them. Then practice to saying your positive statements.
It is easier said than done. Don’t forget that it takes lots of conscious practice to master it and successfully use it consistently during training and matches. The best way to practice transforming your negative self-talk is to intervene right after you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative.
Being negative after missing a point is a very natural phenomenon. The first step is to realize how it’s decreasing your performance. Then the next step is to practice transforming your negativity during training right after you catch yourself being negative. Be patient with yourself and figure out what the typical situations are when you are negative because it’s an automatic reaction. Then you need to practice transforming your negative comments. The ideal final step is when you have eliminated your negative self-talk and replaced it with a positive one. Having a positive mental attitude has amazing power. Just imagine the game score is 10-10 after you’ve missed an easy shot and you say to yourself: “No worries, I will have a good one” rather than “I stink, how could I miss that shot?” (and shaking your head). It is a very different scenario, isn’t it?
Don’t forget: The more you practice, the better you will be! Have the power to control your inner voices and thoughts and you will see how it helps to improve your performance!